Over the last three weeks, we have seen that God’s questions do not provide explanations. Instead, they uncover the hidden framework beneath our little faith, such as our need for control, our demand for certainty, and our instinct to justify ourselves.
This week, we turn to the questions Jesus asked His disciples.
Jesus asked His disciples many questions as a group:
- Why are you afraid?
- Do you still not understand?
- Who do you say that I am?
But when it comes to direct, personal, piercing questions, Peter stands out.
Why Peter?
Maybe because Peter put himself out there. He said the things others were thinking but were afraid to say out loud. He asked the awkward questions. He made bold promises. He spoke too soon. He got it right one moment and completely wrong the next.
In many ways, Peter was very like us. He was sincere but weak, impulsive but loyal, confident but afraid. He said what we might have said, and he did what we might have done. Maybe that is why we understand him. And maybe that is why Jesus’ questions to Peter still feel so personal to us. Because they are questions for every believer who loves Jesus but does not yet fully know him or herself.
I want to start the story with a scene where Jesus shows Peter the truth about himself, but Peter refuses to believe it.
John 13:33-38
Little children, I am with you only a little longer. You will look for me, and as I said to the Jews so now I say to you, ‘Where I am going, you cannot come.’ I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
Simon Peter said to him, “Lord, where are you going?” Jesus answered, “Where I am going, you cannot follow me now, but you will follow afterward.” Peter said to him, “Lord, why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.” Jesus answered, “Will you lay down your life for me? Very truly, I tell you, before the cock crows, you will have denied me three times.
And honestly, if I had been there, I may have said the same thing.
Peter’s answer was sincere. He was not pretending, and he really believed he was ready to follow Jesus even to death. His confidence was like that of a young man deeply in love, convinced that nothing could ever weaken his devotion to the girl he loved.
And maybe that is why Peter is so relatable. His love was real, but his self-knowledge was not. Peter truly loved Jesus, but he did not yet know his limits. Like most of us, he had not yet been brought to the place where his love for Jesus was stronger than his instinct for self-preservation.
So, when Jesus asked, “Will you really lay down your life for Me?” He was not doubting Peter’s love. He was, in mercy, separating Peter’s genuine love from Peter’s illusion about himself.
Peter confused love with readiness and sincerity with strength. Jesus’ question exposed that difference before Peter could see it for himself.
Now, let’s follow Peter into the night.
Judas arrived with soldiers, temple police, and some of the high priest’s servants to arrest Jesus. Peter drew his sword and cut off the right ear of the high priest’s servant. Jesus rebuked him, and then Jesus was arrested.
The disciples scattered, except John. Peter did not completely run away, but he did not stand with Jesus either. He followed at a distance.
John 18:15-18
“Simon Peter and another disciple followed Jesus. Since that disciple was known to the high priest, he went with Jesus into the courtyard of the high priest, but Peter was standing outside at the gate. So the other disciple, who was known to the high priest, went out, spoke to the woman who guarded the gate, and brought Peter in. The woman said to Peter, “You are not also one of this man’s disciples, are you?” He said, “I am not.” Now the slaves and the police had made a charcoal fire because it was cold, and they were standing around it and warming themselves. Peter also was standing with them and warming himself.
John gives us the scene carefully.
It was a cold night, and there was a charcoal fire.
Jesus was inside being questioned. Peter was outside being questioned.
Jesus stood alone, while Peter stood with the servants and temple police.
Peter was close enough to see what was happening to Jesus, but far enough away to deny Him.
Then the high priest’s servant girl asked whether Peter was one of Jesus’ disciples, and Peter denied it.
A little later, the people standing around the fire asked him again, and Peter denied it a second time.
Then one of the high priest’s servants, a relative of the man whose ear Peter had cut off, asked, “Did I not see you in the garden with Him?”
Peter denied it a third time. And immediately, the rooster crowed.
Peter remembered what Jesus had said, and he went out and wept bitterly.
Only hours earlier, Peter had said, “I will lay down my life for You.” But now he could not even admit that he knew Jesus.
The rooster told him that Jesus knew him better than he knew himself. As Peter realized that, his confidence in himself died that night.
So what happens after the rooster crows? What does Jesus do with a disciple whose love was real, but whose confidence in himself had died?
Peter had been with Jesus for three and a half years. He had heard His teaching, seen His miracles, watched Him calm storms, raise the dead, and shine in glory on the mountain. Peter knew more about Jesus than most people ever would. So, he doesn’t need more information about Jesus.
What he needed was a deeper encounter with Jesus, the kind Jacob had when he wrestled with God on the way back home. Jacob came out of that encounter limping, but changed. Peter, too, would need an encounter that would wound his self-confidence and restore his soul.
We may ask why such an encounter is necessary.
Let’s look at the Matthew account of Jesus predicting Peter’s denial:
Matthew 26:33-35
Peter answered him, “Though they all fall away because of you, I will never fall away.” Jesus said to him, “Truly, I tell you, this very night, before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.” Peter said to him, “Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you!” And all the disciples said the same.
Look at Peter’s view of himself: “Though they all fall away because of You, I will never fall away.”
This is what the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil does to us. It makes us evaluate ourselves by the wrong standards, such as by comparison, sincerity, knowledge, religious experience, and visible courage. Peter had all of these. He had walked with Jesus, heard His teaching, seen His miracles, and confessed Him as the Christ. Compared to the others, Peter judged himself strong.
But most of us do not know how far from the mark we are until we truly encounter Jesus.
The tree of knowledge opens our eyes, but to the wrong kind of sight. It trains us to see through guilt, fear, judgment, and self-measurement, while leaving us blind to the grace that has been sustaining us all along.
Peter was looking at himself through that faulty mirror. In his own eyes, he was loyal, brave, and ready. But Jesus saw deeper. He saw fear beneath Peter’s loyalty and self-protection beneath his courage.
So Peter did not simply need to know more about Jesus. He needed Jesus to reveal Peter to Peter. He needed to be freed from the sight of the Tree of Knowledge and brought back to the sight of grace, the sight of the Tree of Life.
That is what grace does. It frees us from the faulty mirror of self-judgment and brings us before the One who knows us truly. And when that encounter happens, we begin to see both things clearly: who we really are, and how deeply we need a Savior.
What does Jesus do when we fail in the very place we thought we were strongest?
John is the only Gospel writer who tells us about Peter’s restoration by the sea. Peter, John, and five other disciples went fishing. They worked through the night and caught nothing. This scene itself should sound familiar. This was not the first time Peter had been in a boat all night and caught nothing.
In Luke 5, near the beginning of Peter’s journey, he had fished all night and caught nothing. Then Jesus told him to let down the nets again, and the catch was so great that Peter fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man.” That was the moment Jesus called him: “From now on you will fish for people.”
Peter confessed his sinfulness, and Jesus restored him with a mission.
Now, after the resurrection, the scene repeats. These disciples worked through the night and caught nothing. Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but they did not recognize Him.
That detail matters. Jesus was bringing Peter back not only to the place of his failure, but also to the place of his calling.
Once again, Jesus stood apart.
Once again, Peter was with the others.
Once again, there was distance between Peter and Jesus.
But this time, something had changed.
Peter was far enough away not to recognize Jesus at first. But when John said, “It is the Lord,” Peter did not move away. He jumped into the water and went toward Him.
Then, when they came to shore, John gives us the detail we are meant to notice:
John 21:9
“When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread.”
A second charcoal fire.
John has brought us back to the place of Peter’s memory. The smell of charcoal belonged to the night Peter denied Jesus. And we know how strongly smell can awaken memory. A smell can take us back to a place we thought we had left behind.
So Jesus prepared another charcoal fire. Not in the courtyard of judgment, but on the shore of grace.
Jesus did not avoid Peter’s wound. He brought Peter back to it.
But this time, the scene was reversed. Jesus was not inside being questioned while Peter was outside denying Him. This time, Jesus Himself questioned Peter.
And He did it in front of the same disciples Peter had once measured himself against.
John 21:15-17
When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love Me more than these?”
Look at the comparison Jesus used. The sight of tree of knowledge makes us compare with others. So Jesus went right there, love me more than these?
“Yes, Lord,” he said, “You know that I love You.”
Jesus said, “Feed My lambs.”
Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love Me?”
This time no comparison.
He answered, “Yes, Lord, You know that I love You.”
Jesus said, “Take care of My sheep.”
The third time He said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love Me?”
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love Me?” He said, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.”
Jesus said, “Feed My sheep.”
Many sermons focus on the Greek words for love in this passage. The first two times, Jesus uses agapao, and Peter responds with phileo. The third time, Jesus uses phileo. Because of that, some say Jesus first asked Peter for a higher, unconditional love, but Peter could only offer a lower, brotherly love. Then, on the third question, Jesus supposedly came down to Peter’s level.
That interpretation is interesting, but it is probably not the strongest way to read the passage. John does not use agapao and phileo in a strict, technical way. For example, in John 5:20, Jesus says, “For the Father loves the Son and shows him all he does,” and the word John used there for love is phileo. That cannot mean that Father loves Jesus with a lower kind of love. John also uses these words with overlap elsewhere.
So the meaning of this scene should not rest mainly on the difference between the two Greek words. The stronger clue is not the vocabulary, but the repetition.
Jesus asked Peter three times because Peter had denied Him three times.
But notice the first question:
“Simon son of John, do you love Me more than these?”
Jesus was not asking for information. He already knew Peter better than Peter knew himself. But the wording is deliberate.
Earlier, Peter had said:
“Though they all fall away because of You, I will never fall away.”
That was Peter’s faulty vision. He had measured himself against the others and judged himself stronger. He did not simply say, “I love You.” He said, in effect, “I love You more faithfully than they do.”
So Jesus began Peter’s restoration by touching the very place where Peter’s self-confidence had lived.
“Do you love Me more than these?”
In other words, “Peter, do you still want to compare yourself? Do you still see yourself as the strongest disciple? Do you still trust your own measurement?”
Peter does not answer, “Yes, Lord, more than them.” He simply says:
“Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.”
That is a different Peter.
The old Peter said, “I know myself, and I know I will stand even if others fall.”
The restored Peter said, “Lord, You know me.”
That is what Jesus’ question did. It drew Peter out of comparison and into surrender. It freed him from the faulty sight of the Tree of Knowledge, where we measure ourselves against others, and brought him before the One who alone sees truly.
At the first fire, Peter’s confidence in himself died.
At the second fire, Jesus rebuilt him on a different foundation. That is the beginning of restoration.
After Peter answered the first question, Jesus did not stop.
A second time He asked:
John 21:16
“Simon son of John, do you love Me?”
This time, Jesus removed the comparison, and the question became more direct.
With the first question, Jesus touched Peter’s old comparison, and with the second question, Jesus touched Peter himself.
Without comparison, Peter had nowhere else to look. He could not measure himself against the others. He could not hide behind his earlier boldness. The question stood by itself.
Peter answered again: “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.”
You see the pattern. Peter’s confidence was no longer in his promise. It was in Jesus’ knowledge of him.
Then Jesus asked a third time:
John 21:17
“Simon son of John, do you love Me?”
And this time, Peter was hurt. Why?
Because the third question brought Peter all the way back to the courtyard, the fire, the fear, the denial, and the rooster.
But this was not cruelty. This was grace doing deep work. Jesus was not reopening the wound to condemn Peter. He was reopening it to heal it.
Peter’s answer changed slightly:
“Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.”
That is the turning point.
Earlier, Peter had said, “I will lay down my life for You.”
Now Peter said, “Lord, You know all things.”
The old Peter trusted what he knew about himself.
The restored Peter trusted what Jesus knew about him.
That is what the question accomplished. It did not give Jesus new information. It gave Peter a new foundation.
Peter’s grief was the pain of being known. But it was also the beginning of freedom. Because the One who knew everything still asked him to feed His sheep.
Jesus did not say, “You failed, so you are disqualified.”
He said, “Feed My lambs.”
“Take care of My sheep.”
“Feed My sheep.”
The disciple who denied the Shepherd was now called to shepherd others.
Once again, as in Peter’s first encounter by the shore, confession leads to mission.
That is grace. It does not pretend that the denial never happened. It brings Peter back to the place of failure and gives him a calling there.
So maybe the real question is not whether Jesus knows our failures. He does. The question is whether we are willing to stand before the One who knows us completely and still hear Him ask, “Do you love Me?”
And if we answer yes, what comes next?
Can love after failure become a calling?
Can the place of our collapse become the place of our restoration?
Can the disciple who once denied the Shepherd learn to shepherd others with grace?
Peter’s story suggests that grace does not simply forgive the past. It transforms the past into ministry.
Discussion Questions:
- Why do we often think failure disqualifies us, while Jesus seems to turn confession into a calling?
- Why do you think Jesus asked Peter, “Do you love Me?” instead of asking, “Why did you deny Me?”
- How does failure change the way we care for other people who are weak, afraid, or ashamed?
Don: I’m struck by the fact that although Peter has been rehabilitated at this calling, if you go into the book of Acts, you see that Peter has more failings. He requires a conversion of his own in order to convert Cornelius in Acts chapter 10, and in Galatians, I think chapter 2, Paul and Peter get into a big brouhaha about what to do with Gentiles in a Jewish Christian church. So it gives you the sense that the restoration of grace is something we need continuously, not just one time.
Kiran: I agree 100%. It’s in stages.
Anonymous: I’m full of awe through God’s grace and how it works. We can never give grace enough time to talk about, explain, and share. In the past, I used to say we overdid it. We killed it by talking too much. Now I think that for ages and ages and ages, we have not talked about it enough. It’s alive in every life, in every day, in every experience, in every individual. It’s just like the air. It’s there; we cannot deny it. And the way Kiran put that touched my heart because I’ve been going through that, and I was wondering: Could someone without this experience explain this matter as you did? Is it just an intellectual thing, or is it experiential? To me it is experiential, but how did you learn this?
Kiran: It’s less of an intellectual thing and more experiential for me. The questions Jesus asked Peter, and the way Peter responds, are a lot like how I would respond. I react too quickly, then bite my tongue and say, “Oh, what did I do? Why did I do that?” I would say one thing and then realize that the very thing I said I would do, I failed in miserably.
You come to a stage—I guess I’m still in that stage—where you realize that all the confidence we have in ourselves eventually disappears. I have done a PhD. I moved to another country and built a life. I learned many things in the Bible. But then all my confidence is just gone, and I find myself in a place where I don’t know what I’m doing. It feels like being a little leaf caught in a tornado. You don’t know where you’re going. But at the same time, I have a peace that doesn’t come from me. It comes from knowing how strongly Jesus loves me.
You go through the story of Job and realize that God is not into transactional faith. God is into relational faith. He already gave you grace and gave His life. You cannot expect more than that. Material blessings and all these other things exist in a world that is constantly changing. You don’t know what will happen, and when people depend on you, you don’t know whether you are capable of providing for them.
At the same time, I remember Dr. Weaver telling us the story about the thousands of orphans, and I realize that if I am gone, God will take care of my family much better than I ever could. Intellectually, I know these things. But where does my confidence come from? It no longer comes from myself.
Peter hurts me every time I read about him. Over the years, the denial of Peter has affected me in different ways, and I keep going back to that story—not purposefully, but because it is painful. Somehow I always return there. I don’t know exactly how to express it, but you know what I mean.
Donald: Here’s a picture of Niagara Falls, where water is continuously flowing and being provided.
Then here’s a picture of water being poured into a glass, which ends when the glass is full.
One is continuous and abundant; the other is limited.
It seems to me that what we’re talking about here is like Niagara Falls. Don’t limit God’s grace. The glass is limiting God’s grace: “Okay, I’ve got it. I’m full. Thank you.” But grace is everlasting. It’s like the air we breathe, and that’s the way we should view it.
I’m afraid, though, that we often approach grace as though it were the glass. We are grateful for it and thank God for it, but we think in terms of receiving enough. What happens when we recognize that God’s grace is never-ending is very different.
I don’t know if that’s helpful, but that is the visual that came to my mind listening to what Kiran expressed today. The difference is limited versus unlimited. It really speaks to our confidence versus God’s confidence in us. Peter was very confident in himself. He didn’t think he would succumb to what Christ warned him about. But that was Peter’s confidence in Peter. We need to recognize that God sees us clearly and continually provides grace for us. We can be grateful for that.
Reinhard: With regard to the spiritual journey of Peter: We need to learn from the process, from the transformation of Peter from an ordinary disciple to the point where, eventually, he was crucified upside down in Rome.
Kiran mentioned the event leading to the crucifixion, when Peter denied Jesus three times. I think there is significance in Jesus asking Peter three questions later. At that time, Peter still had an under-developed spiritual understanding of Jesus, even though he had seen Jesus perform miracles throughout those three years, and probably believed Jesus could somehow escape arrest. He knew Jesus had the power. He had seen all these miracles. So even if Jesus were arrested, Peter probably thought Jesus would come out of the situation victoriously.
But when Jesus allowed Himself to be arrested and did not use His power as the Son of God, Peter began to question everything. He became afraid. As a human being, he saw Jesus apparently doing nothing to stop it. So automatically, Peter denied knowing Him because he feared he too would be crucified.
But this is part of Peter’s spiritual journey. At the end, after Jesus’ ascension and after the Holy Spirit came ten days later, Peter was transformed. Not only Peter, but all the disciples became bold. They began to see Jesus differently. They realized Jesus had not come simply to lead Israel politically or militarily against Rome. They began to understand the deeper spiritual purpose of Jesus’ mission—not only for this world, but for the life to come.
They understood that Jesus was truly the Son of God and that their mission was to evangelize the world, to make disciples as Jesus commanded them before ascending to heaven. Their understanding changed. Their relationship with God became deeper and more spiritual.
The transformation of Peter—from shallow understanding to spiritual maturity—shows the lesson we all need to learn. We all begin at chapter one in our spiritual life, but through experience, through the Holy Spirit, and through our relationship with God, we grow stronger.
Don: I’m struck by the fact that the questions God asks seem to be more directed toward helping us know ourselves better rather than helping us know God better. We easily fall into the trap Peter fell into, which is believing that we know God well, that we can speak for God, that we know what God wants from us, and that we are on a journey toward the goals He has set.
But if you look at the very first questions God asks in Genesis—“Who told you that you were naked?”—and then follow the questions God asks throughout Scripture, they are often designed to make us look honestly at ourselves. Our self-assessment is usually very different from God’s assessment of us. God does this gently, as Kiran pointed out, by asking questions that are not overly harsh, but which reveal the truth about us.
Donald: Do you think the disciples believed the weekend of Christ’s crucifixion would end the way it did? Or did they always assume that Christ, because of His supernatural power displayed over those previous three years, would ultimately save Himself?
It seems to me that independent of who Peter, Judas, or the other disciples were individually, they all believed it would not end this way. As events unfolded, reality slowly became clearer to them. Then Christ died, and later rose again. Peter then had the rest of his life to reflect back on that experience and understand himself in the context of his Savior in a completely different way than before the crucifixion.
C-J: I think everything shifted. Like the prophets of old—Isaiah, Daniel, Revelation—it shifted into the spiritual realm. It wasn’t about the flesh anymore. The flesh is limited.
I don’t think the disciples doubted that Jesus was going to be crucified. During that period when Jesus confronted Rome and the temple authorities, He could have backed off. He could have softened His language. But He didn’t. Jesus was a disruptor, and He was modeling the cost of being a disruptor for convictions you believe are true, regardless of the time or the powers involved.
When Jesus died and His body was no longer physically present, the disciples had to understand that everything earthly is temporary. Their relationship with Him shifted into a different kind of faith. They had to learn to hear the voice of God differently.
The questions Jesus asked Peter became critical because now Peter would have to act on what he had learned. Before, Peter could always look to Jesus physically and say, “Lord, save us from the storm.” But now Jesus was teaching them that they would know Him differently, and they would know themselves differently.
It was a tremendous transition. Peter realized he was now responsible. Jesus trusted him with that responsibility. Jesus would still carry him through, but in a different realm.
Donald: I’m sure Don has felt something similar on a very earthly level. Last night, as we prepared today’s Sabbath meal, we naturally thought about where Mom would have been sitting at the table. Death is so definitive. One day someone is eating with us, and the next day they are not.
So I think that fits with what C-J was saying. There was a line in the sand. The disciples’ understanding of Christ and relationship with Christ before His death became radically different afterward.
Reinhard: Even after the resurrection, it seems the disciples’ lives almost came to a stop. They went back to fishing, perhaps trying to return to their old profession. This was a defining period for them. They had known Jesus as teacher and master, but not fully understood who He was.
Peter had been promised that he would help build the church, but after the crucifixion all of that probably seemed meaningless to them. Then Jesus met them again after the miraculous catch of fish, and from that point their understanding changed completely. After witnessing the resurrection, the ascension, and receiving the Holy Spirit, they were transformed.
Peter later wrote First and Second Peter, and by then he had learned the true purpose of Jesus. The resurrection became a powerful message for humanity. Peter understood that Christians are called to live rightly, worship God, and remain faithful.
Again, through Peter’s experience, we learn that the teachings of Christ are meant to equip us to stay strong in our relationship with God. With the help of the Holy Spirit, we continue carrying out our mission in this life and the life to come.
Kiran: I don’t know what we’re going to do next week. I don’t have that in mind right now, but I’ll continue with the questions.
Don: My mantra is: never underestimate God’s eternal grace.
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